javaink: (not today satan)
ha, i was feelin like posting YESTERDAY, but i stared at the screen a good five minutes, thinking "yeeeh getting my study on" and then nothing. it's fine. now i'm kind of studying?
i'm going through some submissions for my internship, so i'm ahead of schedule! or right on schedule? you're not supposed to do them the night before they're due, so i guess for once i'm doing it right? i'm reading through them all, which is a MISTAKE but i haven't felt the need to stop reading some even if they suck, so not too much of a mistake.
for my other internship i met with my adviser, who is also the head of this internship, and we got some shit done, going through some submissions together. she showed me some of the ropes, and i just have to finish the other things she told me to do. we're in no rush though, so i don't feel too stressed about it.

today i had two language midterms and honestly i could have done better but i'm positive i passed both so that's what matters. i was stressed though, let me tell you. Greek and Russian, by the way. i've heard plenty of people say Russian is one of the hardest languages (as English speakers) but honestly Ancient Greek is kicking my ass. that's not an easy language OR class. i started with Russian last year, and Greek this year, so i'm more comfortable with Russian than Greek anyway. Russian is more personal to me, and it's probably because i started it first and my grandfather spoke it, so it has more sentimental value to me than Greek. i'm sure if i had flipped them, i'd be leaning more towards Greek. but Russian also has the plus that it'd not a dead language. it's immediately accessible to me and my life, i can express myself better, and i can better write it since i'm actually learning how to use the language, not just understand it. there is a major difference between learning dead and living languages. but then again, you can always try to teach people dead languages like you do living languages, but none of my professors in the past or present have decided to do that. i could try on my own, but already with my workload, it's too much effort. i'm also not passionate enough to do that - i mean, i love languages, but i'm not that passionate of a person, you know? i don't have that ENERGY. i don't have enough emotional energy to even write - the thing i most love doing along with reading - more than i do, so i definitely don't have the energy to study my languages more. how sad, but it is what it is, i am what i am.

my plants aren't doing so well. soon i'm going to move them to my desk because WINTER IS COMING, but in the meantime they're still on my window sill, begging for sun from my north-facing window. i'm sorry, babies. my elephant bush is shriveling, that poor thing. my one at home is fine though, so there's that! i shouldn't have split them up, but uhhhh- i need to stop regretting it. in fact, i have, i've accepted it, but then i remind myself.

my friend, my only classmate in Russian, invited me to go to Chipotle with her. she was really craving it. i've heard good and bad things about it, and honestly, i think it's one step down from Qdoba, and i'm not sure if she's tried that. she should, because it's better. way better. Chipotle doesn't even have QUESO, WHAT MONSTERS. they have guac, sure, but only because they'd have an UPRISING on their hands and they'd never sell a thing again. they don't even have the "cheese dip" or "nacho cheese" other places sell. what losers. it was an alright meal, better than my awful lunch sandwich from our uni's coffee shop, and the burrito was okay. they just had the NARROWEST of options! but then again, i've been to Qdoba and Freebirds. i told her about Freebirds, which she had never heard of, and looking it up, yep that sounds accurate because it's mainly only found in California and Texas with a few of them scattered in the Midwest. she missin out. we went to get donuts afterwards - she to cheer her boyfriend up and then me for my friend Katie who's busy studying. i got her donut holes, and maybe stole one. no. i definitely ate one. even though their hotlight wasn't on, the lady at the front immediately handed us fresh glazed donuts. so sweet. the lady and the donut! but yes, a dozen holes, and Katie wasn't at her door immediately when i knocked! i came back an hour later, and she was there! she was so glad. i told her to heat them up, wished her happy studying, and left. Katie's always really generous, so i wanted to take a page out of her book. they didn't cost much anyway.


alright, i think i'm gonna go watch some anime (either rewatch kyoukai no kanata or finish hyouka. i really need to finish hyouka. i've stopped watching anime, but i was really wanting to watch these. a little nostalgic). maybe read a few submissions. play sims. draft my short story. who knows.
g'night.
javaink: (what am i doing with my life)
AS IN WHY AM I LIKE THIS -
(so i think with last [private] entry's post, this is definitely going to be a half-journal thing)
can i just say that i love Fun.? even when i grow uncomfortable if i pay attention to that one song because it feel sacrilegious. it's just so GOOD but sacrilegious wow. anyway, i'm blasting (kinda? i turned it down a bit to focus better but still loud enough i can hear the singing while i too sing loudly) Aim and Ignite while i'm going through these submissions for my uni's literary journal. oh i love being a slush reader. i also HATE IT. but it's fun and feels so official! yes, that small thing does give me joy. too bad i'm not paid for this, but hey, school internship, whaddya expect. nothing. expect nothing good, and then get pleasantly surprised by good things! that show up! finally! anyway, so i'm doing that. i have eight more to go through before they're due by 6 P.M. tomorrow, but i'll be traveling back home (!) by then, since 12, SO I GOTTA FINISH TONIGHT. And pack. and do homework for the classes i AM going to tomorrow.

today i had a 16-24 lined Blank Verse due, and i got it done 15 minutes before class! i woke up at 7 to finish it! i had gotten about 10 lines done the night before? it's a little crappy, but i'm a little proud of it? i liked the start but then i got into this ice-skating analogy and it feels like it fell apart. but i liked my finish, i wrote that part last night, even though it's not particularly strong. i'm just proud i had an ending i liked. i don't like the title tooooo much but it fit so i did it. "Polyglot Wannabe". i tried writing about that awful feeling of being surrounded by a foreign language - like being in another country - that you thought you might have studied enough but your listening comprehension is APPARENTLY CRAP. you know . . . with that description, i feel like my poem could've been 100% more funny/self-deprecating but instead it takes itself a little too serious. not too too serious just not nervously funny as it could be. maybe i'll try again.
but last night i got nowhere near done with my Russian Culture reading (about folk music at this point). i thought i could? i was awake while writing my poem, felt my creative energies shut down, and said to myself "okayyy now it's time to read, i can definitely stay up and finish it i am v determined look how awake i am now." i got out my book and started falling asleep three pages in. welp. so i put that away and went to sleep. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE. i also needed to finish my Russian homework that's due Friday but i needed to turn it in TODAY because i won't be able to make class on Friday. my Russian teacher is my same teacher for Russian Culture, so he said to just hand it in to him on Thursday's class. no big deal. i also ALSO had to turn in our video script for Russian on that same day. the script has to fill at least two minutes, and i hope i did that? but after intro to poetry, i only have about two hours and twenty minutes till RussCulture? that's not bad for my Russian assignments, i got those done just in time! right at one! i was shaking from the coffee and nerves, though i was v calm. (also, on another note, i think i'm started to see the appeal of being attracted to guy's who are the same height as you? and i'm 5'1 so- whatever, moving on). but yeah, i had twenty pages to read for RussCulture and each of those pages were two pages on them, small text? not happening. so it didn't happen. but i got through class! that's the good thing about the class, you can get through it if you didn't finish the reading.
BUT I WAS SO DETERMINED TO GET THAT READING DONE LAST NIGHT. I'M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED I COULDN'T STAY AWAKE FOR IT.
so yeah. why am i like this, procrastinating so bad that i'm crammed for time? i didn't start homework till ten last night! WHY AM I LIKE THIS.

but now that's all done. i just have to do my stuff for tonight, and right now i am pretty chill. i ate my breakfast sandwich thirty minutes ago that i five hours ago. i'm still working on my coffee because i figured i should save a little for slush-reading. and look at that! i did!
okay Barlights by Fun. came on, my fave by them, so bye now.
javaink: (hello.)
Wow, I've had this account for a year and nothing has come of it. Wow.
No, really, I do want to do something with it, but what? Okay. Okay.
Thoughts -
1. diary (who would want to hear about me? maybe just short accounts of how i feel/blah?)
2. rants/reviews on things i've read
3. music talk except that wouldn't do it'd just be a lot of "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
4. i really like literary rants
5. some fics i've written except that's not many and none of them get anywhere. they're just chunks of things i probably won't finish?
6. tv show/movie/media rants/feelings, though that wouldn't be many
7. some fiction/non-fiction i've written that i won't ever feel like publishing? or maybe some poems?
8. some sims stuff? i play ts2, 4, and now 1.

I should probably read around on different journals, get a feel for the different types, and go from there, see what I want to become.
I got a tumblr and I'm on that a lot, but I still really like this place, even though I'm new, and I like how - intimate it feels? You have to search to find people and even then - you might not see everything. It's all reading, not just visuals, and it takes time. I like something like that.
Okay, well I'm off to be productive. My letter to one of my best friends is three (3!) weeks late and I have a test tomorrow. До свидания!
javaink: (i'm not crying you're crying)
I NEED to get this playlist out, it's been sitting on my Spotify for months, literally a year by now, and I haven't been able to share it because I don't own all the songs so I can't put it on 8tracks. But now I need a small break from Prose Edda and just finally share this playlist on this quiet account that I've done nothing with so far.
So.
Senior year, AP Lit, we read Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Hardy. Great book, great to throw around your room in rage and crying because come on. Tess's life sucks and she's a beautiful angel that deserves nothing and she makes shit decisions and can only half-read people. Of course her eventual husband, Angel, is a whole other bag of rage and love. I MADE THIS TWO PART PLAYLIST TO DEAL WITH FEELS. Also the songs hit me and I'm like "IT'S THEM". So here it is.
Part i is in no particular order, just going by sound, whereas I tried my hardest to put Part ii in chrono order. Bonus is not canon at all, but it's my own response to the book.
*warning: LOTS of mumford & sons. And repeated artists. I'm sorry.*

Part i - "what they should have been"
1. i want to know your plans - say anything
2. i'll believe in anything - wolf parade
3. young and beautiful - lana del rey
4. touches you - MIKA
5. smiling swine - the dear hunter
6. not with haste - mumford & sons
7. the war within - churchill

Part ii - "what they are"
1. dream #1 - elton john
2. all this and heaven too - florence + the machine
3. tightrope (acoustic) - walk the moon
4. holland road - mumford & sons
5. hardest of hearts - florence + the machine
6. change - churchill
7. we used to wait - arcade fire
8. lover's eyes - mumford & sons
(BONUS) all men are pigs - studio killers
javaink: (Default)
I found out a week ago that there's a musical based on Alexander Hamilton. HAMILTON. I was/am ecstatic when I found out, but I was writing a paper when that happened and I couldn't watch it. Two days after that I had ANOTHER [crappy] paper to write.
GUESS WHAT.
NO MORE PAPERS TO WRITE (currently). (it is midterms though)
I will watch it soon IM SO EXCITED.
BECAUSE I LOVE HAMILTON I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN.
(i could, but i won't? it's difficult?)
But first I have to finish Starkid's "ANI" parody musical, then I'm all Hammy's.
javaink: (i can't explain)
It's four days into OCTOBER, the BEST MONTH of the YEAR, and I feel obligated to note that. Even though I'm four days late.
I'm trying to get used to this new atmosphere, my school, and slowly but surely I am. Studying, however, is so different and all I want to do is curl up under my blankets and never come out. I have a fluffy white blanket that is SO WARM I feel like i'm wrapped, or protected, or hugged by a cloud. A warm cloud, that is. My bed is lofted, so it adds to the effect. For the past two nights I've literally snuggled with a book. It stayed in my bed all night, and it was a little comforting, having those words so close to me instead of just my own words swarming inside my head. Last night it was Othello. I cannot WAIT to get into that, though if my record goes to show, I'll probably juggle it with The Iliad and Macbeth, if I have the time to read for myself. (I started to reread Macbeth the other night because I love Macbeth and because MacDuff was alluded to in Weiland and I cried when I realized - I get emotional over MacDuff). Not a good idea, to say the least, but I'm going with it! This weekend was an emotional roller coaster, and I'm tired. Tired of being thought of as "ridiculous" by my sisters, too, but what can you do?
.
Currently I am practicing scansion and it is kicking my ass.
That is all.

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javaink

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