6 October 2016

javaink: (what am i doing with my life)
AS IN WHY AM I LIKE THIS -
(so i think with last [private] entry's post, this is definitely going to be a half-journal thing)
can i just say that i love Fun.? even when i grow uncomfortable if i pay attention to that one song because it feel sacrilegious. it's just so GOOD but sacrilegious wow. anyway, i'm blasting (kinda? i turned it down a bit to focus better but still loud enough i can hear the singing while i too sing loudly) Aim and Ignite while i'm going through these submissions for my uni's literary journal. oh i love being a slush reader. i also HATE IT. but it's fun and feels so official! yes, that small thing does give me joy. too bad i'm not paid for this, but hey, school internship, whaddya expect. nothing. expect nothing good, and then get pleasantly surprised by good things! that show up! finally! anyway, so i'm doing that. i have eight more to go through before they're due by 6 P.M. tomorrow, but i'll be traveling back home (!) by then, since 12, SO I GOTTA FINISH TONIGHT. And pack. and do homework for the classes i AM going to tomorrow.

today i had a 16-24 lined Blank Verse due, and i got it done 15 minutes before class! i woke up at 7 to finish it! i had gotten about 10 lines done the night before? it's a little crappy, but i'm a little proud of it? i liked the start but then i got into this ice-skating analogy and it feels like it fell apart. but i liked my finish, i wrote that part last night, even though it's not particularly strong. i'm just proud i had an ending i liked. i don't like the title tooooo much but it fit so i did it. "Polyglot Wannabe". i tried writing about that awful feeling of being surrounded by a foreign language - like being in another country - that you thought you might have studied enough but your listening comprehension is APPARENTLY CRAP. you know . . . with that description, i feel like my poem could've been 100% more funny/self-deprecating but instead it takes itself a little too serious. not too too serious just not nervously funny as it could be. maybe i'll try again.
but last night i got nowhere near done with my Russian Culture reading (about folk music at this point). i thought i could? i was awake while writing my poem, felt my creative energies shut down, and said to myself "okayyy now it's time to read, i can definitely stay up and finish it i am v determined look how awake i am now." i got out my book and started falling asleep three pages in. welp. so i put that away and went to sleep. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE. i also needed to finish my Russian homework that's due Friday but i needed to turn it in TODAY because i won't be able to make class on Friday. my Russian teacher is my same teacher for Russian Culture, so he said to just hand it in to him on Thursday's class. no big deal. i also ALSO had to turn in our video script for Russian on that same day. the script has to fill at least two minutes, and i hope i did that? but after intro to poetry, i only have about two hours and twenty minutes till RussCulture? that's not bad for my Russian assignments, i got those done just in time! right at one! i was shaking from the coffee and nerves, though i was v calm. (also, on another note, i think i'm started to see the appeal of being attracted to guy's who are the same height as you? and i'm 5'1 so- whatever, moving on). but yeah, i had twenty pages to read for RussCulture and each of those pages were two pages on them, small text? not happening. so it didn't happen. but i got through class! that's the good thing about the class, you can get through it if you didn't finish the reading.
BUT I WAS SO DETERMINED TO GET THAT READING DONE LAST NIGHT. I'M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED I COULDN'T STAY AWAKE FOR IT.
so yeah. why am i like this, procrastinating so bad that i'm crammed for time? i didn't start homework till ten last night! WHY AM I LIKE THIS.

but now that's all done. i just have to do my stuff for tonight, and right now i am pretty chill. i ate my breakfast sandwich thirty minutes ago that i five hours ago. i'm still working on my coffee because i figured i should save a little for slush-reading. and look at that! i did!
okay Barlights by Fun. came on, my fave by them, so bye now.

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javaink

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